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Friday, 26 August 2016

Omypic Moment

 Walt Describe a  in time in detail
I turn the boat then I turn it again. I’m a NZ sailor.   I sail as hard as I can.  The people said good luck and cheered for me. I had sometimes never got beaten. I’m a NZ sailor I have got a gold medal. I wondered if my friends are here.







2 comments:

  1. Hi there Reid
    I like the way you wrote the story next time can you use some more similes and onomatopoeia to make it interesting

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Reid,I really like how you used a question in your writing.One question why did you choose this person and maybe next time tell us the person your talking about.

    ReplyDelete

Thank you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment.